Plan Ahead And Reduce The ‘Big School’ Anxiety For Your Child
Moving up to secondary school is a big step. For many children, it’s their first real taste of independence. New teachers, new routines, a new building, and often a whole new group of classmates. Understandably, it can feel like a lot, but with a bit of prep, plenty of reassurance and a steady approach, you can make the transition smoother for everyone involved.
This guide covers some of the basic steps you can take to prepare your child for secondary school. Remember, it’s all about planning, to make things run smoothly on the first day, the first week, the first term and the first year. Before you know it, your tween child will be well and truly settled into secondary school.
Before We Jump In, Let’s Answer A Couple Of FAQ’s That Parents Have About Secondary School
How Many Children Move Up To Secondary School Each Year?
If your child is moving up to secondary school, they’re in good company! 609576 pupils are entering secondary school in the September 2025 uptake, according to NFER.
What Are The Average Costs Of Moving To Secondary School?
Recent reports from the Department of Education say that the average cost involved with joining a secondary school is £442, which includes uniforms, PE kits and other essentials.
There are measurements being considered by the government to limit the number of branded items required for any school uniform, which could save parents around £50, on average. If you’re worrying about uniform costs, we recommend using the BBC Grant Checker to see if there are any grants available in your area.
Preparing Your Child For Secondary School
Talk About What’s Changing
One of the best ways to reduce nerves is by helping your child understand what will be different. Secondary school usually means a longer day, more homework, more subjects and new teachers for each class. For some, it may even involve taking a bus, walking further or navigating multiple buildings. Chat through these changes early on. Keep the tone positive but honest. Acknowledge that it’s okay to feel nervous while reminding them that everyone else is in the same boat.
Visit The School If You Can
Most schools offer open days or transition days where Year 6 pupils can tour the school, meet teachers and get a feel for how things work. If your child hasn’t had the chance to visit, check the school website. Many now offer virtual tours or welcome videos. Even seeing photos of classrooms or learning about the school timetable can help demystify the experience.
Build Up Independence At Home
Secondary school will expect a bit more independence, both in and out of the classroom. You can support this in small ways before September. Let your child start packing their own bag the night before. Encourage them to keep track of their own homework. If they’re going to walk or take the bus, practise the journey a few times over the summer. These little steps will give them confidence to manage bigger changes once term begins.
Remember, if they are taking the bus for the first time and you’re a little anxious, you can use one of our Children’s GPS Trackers to keep tabs on them. As it goes in their bag and doesn’t need to be connected to their phone, it’s discreet, saves phone battery and doesn’t intrude on their ‘street cred’.
Talk Uniforms, Lockers & Dinner Money
It’s often the practical bits that feel overwhelming. Will they be able to get their tie on? What if they lose their locker key? What happens if they forget lunch money?
Go through some of these common concerns together. If the school has a uniform shop or second-hand sale, go along together and try things on early. Make sure shoes are comfy and that your child can tie their laces or fasten any tricky fastenings themselves. Getting these small details sorted in advance removes a lot of last-minute stress.
Bonus: If your child isn’t sure, here’s a great video from Reef Knots on Tying A School Tie.
Help Them Stay Organised
Organisation will become a much bigger part of daily school life. Homework, PE kits, music lessons, packed lunches; it adds up quickly.
Help your child develop a system that works for them. That could mean a big wall calendar, a checklist by the front door, or colour-coded folders.
The goal is to help them feel in control of their own responsibilities without doing everything for them.
Keep Communication Open
Even confident kids can feel overwhelmed when they start secondary school. Keep an eye out for signs they might be struggling: headaches, reluctance to go to school, changes in sleep or mood. Ask open questions. How are they finding their new teachers? Is there anyone they’ve clicked with? Do they feel like they’re managing the work? It’s okay if they don’t want to talk every day, but letting them know you’re available makes all the difference.
Young Minds have some great resources for tackling secondary school anxiety if your (not so) little one really is struggling.
Be Patient (With Them & Yourself)
It’s easy to forget how big a jump this is. New subjects, new routines and new friendships can all feel a bit much, even for the most mature Year 7s. Don’t expect them to have it all figured out in the first week. It can take weeks or even months for things to settle. The same applies to parents too. You might find yourself missing the simplicity of primary school or worrying about how your child is coping. That’s normal.
And Relax!
No matter what, keep emotions to a minimum. Of course, a big change like moving to secondary school can be daunting for anyone, but staying calm and relaxed can really help matters. Remember, your child will pick up on your reactions and approach, so if you’re relaxed, they will be too.
Final word
There’s no magic formula for preparing a child for secondary school, but small, steady steps can help them feel more confident and equipped for the journey ahead. Listen, reassure, and support. But trust them to rise to the occasion too. Most children surprise themselves with just how quickly they adapt.
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